funny glasses

So I went to work with my husband yesterday, as talked about in the previous post. Well, I found these awesome glasses.They're a mix between Mr Magoo, Harry Potter and Vzma from The Emporer's New Groove lol here are the pics.

So, I'm a sexy beast!!

I look like a retarded Asian Math Nerd



BOOBIES IN AMISH TOWN

So my husband and I were driving through Amish Country in Lancaster yesterday and I was bored...so bored..so I made up a game. I decided to see what would happen if I flashed buggyfuls of bearded Amish men. Here were the results....

they were some happppy motha fuckas!!

So the moral to the story is...if you're ever in Lancaster and bored out of your mind....be nice and give the Amish some action....they love it!!! lol

This happens to me all the time!

ALL THE TIME

hilarious look alikes!!!

Back to work...

It feels so good to be back at work...I really missed my residents =] geriatrics is my passion. I was like totally suprised that on my return to my old hall my patients remembered me. It's a really great feeling!! I switched shifts and let me just say it is a completely diffrent place at night!! It's so much less stress!! And OMFG we have some hilarious convos at night....

 

and FYI this 55 yr old gay guy looks at me and randomly says " Lady Gaga has a dick"

*it was the highlight of my night

Anyways there is never a dull moment just tonight :

• One lady fed the invisible cat under the linen cart
• Someone else crowed like a rooster
• Someone else fingerpainted in poop
• I made up a funny song about the Ravens in the tune to that Christmas song with the bum bum bum bum in it lol...
• my 2 year old came in and was asking patients for cookies
• my mom and husband got in a fight in the parking lot
• my boss was talking about playing strip beer pong and waking up in bed with some random guy...
• one old lady told me that she loves sex and asked me about my sex life
• sat on the floor and drank coffee
• i was litterally barked at tonight

 

This picture makes me feel like the picture.

just seeing this picture makes me gleeful just like Reptar is gleeful in this picture.

Direct quote from my sister's preschool students

My sister: "Who was at the first Thanksgiving?"
Students: "God! And the dinosaurs!"

jazzy kitten

this little kitten reminds me of the spirit fingers from bring it on!!

i want a funny gay dance teacher like this !!!

FEENY FEENY FEHEHENY

everyboday says onions make you cry

When you cut an onion, the potency caused the dear ducts to water. I like this theory why this happens better... haha

oh so awesome!!

 

Laura and I scared to death watching Dead Silence

So, I've been thinking. ( I know scary thought lol) But like why does everybody want to be cool? Like wtf? I was watching Alice In Wonderland and when Alice was talking about wearing a codfish on your head I was like omfg...LIGHTBULB! I have to write about this topic. I don't understand why everyone can't just be themselves and do what THEY want to do. I always embrace my inner nerd and you should to! Who cares about what people who follow the "trends" say?

"If you follow the trends you'll NEVER set one"

Seriously...what fun is that?? You have to take a chance in life and do what makes YOU happy!

Our list of nerdom:

• I break into random song and dance
• I buy my clothes from goodwill
• I own a pair of fake yes fake UGGS
• I love love love coffee
• I sew
• West Side Story makes me happy <3
• I owned nerd glasses WAY BEFORE they were popular
• I love batman and spiderman
• when i was a kid I named my cat Icis after the catwomans cat
• I sing in the shower
• I love to act like a dork in public
• Harry Potter is awesome
• teaching my son to call his batman hat a helmet
• watching scary movies with the lights on
• pink plaid!!
• quilting

There are a million more but thats not the point.
I don't care about being cool or about what people think about me
I love to have fun and be myself
What kind of things make you a nerd?

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

***Here are some quotes that we really like...some are funny, some are inspirational, and some are just dumb...o well that's life****


"If you don't have the courage to walk alone others will not have the courage to walk with you."

"Nothing can defeat you, if you make up your mind to fight and nothing can save you, if you have accepted defeat."

"The enormity of your problems is nothing compared with your ability to solve them. By overestimating the problem you underestimate yourself."

"The price tag you put on yourself decides your worth. Underestimating yourself will cost you dearly."

"It is the road you take that decides your destiny and not your destiny that decides the road you take."

"You may not be able to change the world. But that should not stop you from changing someone's world."

"Your life is a gift that is unveiled when you expand it by touching the lives of others."

"The strongest foundation for success is laid by the merit of your actions nothing in the world can shake it"

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Airplane! Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb.
Dark Helmet, Space Balls I know they were just kids...but man we beat the fuck out of them!
Dogma I don't know what to say, so I'll just say what's in my heart... Baboom, Baboom, Baboom.
Mel Brooks Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.
Spaceballs

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception
Groucho Marx


"Don't shoot me homeboy,I'm one of you
Micah


"You sound like a shit salesman with a mouthfull of samples"
George Carter
"You don't know your asshole from a hole in the ground"
my hubbi Josh


You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.
Mike Myers (Austin Powers: Goldmember)


“Demented and sad, but social.”
— The Breakfast Club


“This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again.”
— Ghost World


Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room.
President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in 'Dr. Strangelove'
One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.


To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.


Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.


The older you get, the better you realize you were.


Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.


Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.


Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.


Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
--Mother Teresa --


One advantage of marriage It seems to me
Is that when you fall out of love with him
Or he falls out of love with you
It keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
--Judith Viorst --


Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination
nor both together go to the making of genius.
Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
--Mozart --


Love teaches even asses to dance.
--French Proverb --


Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!


To infinite, ever present Love, all is Love,
and there is no error, no sin sickness, nor death.
--Mary Baker Eddy --


Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
--Charles Caleb Colton --


Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
--Norma O. Abrego --


Put love first. Entertain thoughts that give life
And when a thought or resentment, or hurt, or fear
comes your way, have another thought that is more powerful
-- a thought that is love.
--Mary Manin Morrissey --


We must love one another or die
--W.H. Auden poem --


I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
--Walt Disney --


Never sign a valentine with your own name.
--Charles Dickens --


Love: Two minds without a single thought.
--Philip Barry --


The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.


All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
--Lucy Van Pelt --


He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.


Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.


If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!


If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary form.


Don’t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.


If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?


Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.


If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.


If you lie to the computer, it will get you.


You couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.


If you see an onion ring - answer it!




I’d rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a
5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than…


She’s wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister’s
wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.


My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her
neck to get the dogs to play her.


You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.


It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s love.


She’s uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.


He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.


Ain’t no point in beatin’ a dead horse…’course, can’t hurt none either.


I’d love to have a dress just like that, but I don’t go to many Puerto Rican proms.


He’s so stupid, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands.


She was so ugly she could have trick or treated over the telephone-Larry the Cable Guy